Divorce mediation is an excellent alternative to battling out in court. When divorcing spouses begin separating their lives from one another, they often need to consider many questions and decisions that can be overwhelming, even for the most prepared. The traditional divorce process of court hearings and bickering may not feel worth it for the parties to achieve that final divorce decree. However, the process requires the parties to be legally separated.
When former partners begin to feel this way, they may consider a more collaborative divorce process, such as divorce mediation. Yet many couples may not know where to begin a mediated divorce. This article will provide an overview of divorce mediation and some considerations that a couple may need to make while considering it.
The Divorce Mediation Process
Divorce mediation is a guided negotiation practice in which a neutral mediator helps divorcing couples agree on how to move forward with life after the divorce, considering the children and any financial assets the couple may have. The process is usually confidential and allows the parties to take control of the outcome. In most cases, it is also non-binding and voluntary, allowing the parties to choose to participate and when to end the discussion. It is a non-adversarial process allowing full participation and collaboration.
Choosing the Divorce Mediator
The first step in the mediation process is to choose the mediator working with the parties. In many cases, each person has already hired a family law attorney to guide them through the process, and these attorneys will aid in finding and hiring a mediator. Most mediators are part of a mediation services provider list, from which the lawyers agree on a mediator.
The mediator’s role is to be a neutral third party, meaning that they have no stake in the divorce’s outcome and are not attached to either party in a way that would make their guidance untrustworthy. A mediator helps the parties reach agreements by guiding the settlement discussions. They must remain completely neutral and cannot provide legal advice or predict the outcome of a court hearing.
Many mediators contact the lawyer for each party to get a background understanding of the case and possible solutions. They also set a place and time for the mediation sessions and asked for any documents they would like to review beforehand.
The Mediation Session
Once the mediator has been chosen, the parties will meet for a mediation session. Traditional mediation involves the spouses meeting in the same room and providing the mediator with a statement of how they view the case before moving into separate rooms to discuss the solutions separately. In today’s online world, it is possible to have online mediation, allowing the parties to stay safe, even if there is violence between them.
Most mediations will separate the parties and have the mediator move from one spouse to the other party while they discuss the possible options and where they would like to go next. Most mediators ask the divorce attorney to allow their client to speak directly to the mediator, which often helps identify interests and provide insight into the necessary options. The mediator will typically move back and forth until the parties have reached an agreement or decide they cannot resolve the divorce with collaborative law.
Divorce Settlement Agreement
Once the parties agree, the mediator will create a written settlement agreement for them to sign. One party cannot force the other party to sign the agreement, but once it is signed, it will usually become the divorce decree between the parties.
A settlement agreement does not need to resolve every issue for the parties. If they can agree on certain issues, they may agree to have a judge decide on any unresolved issues later. Successful mediation involves both full and partial agreements between the parties.
Common Considerations for Mediation
Now that we understand the typical process for divorce mediation sessions, we can explore some of the topics that can be decided through collaborative divorce options. While each divorce is unique, it typically involves creating a parenting plan for any shared children and making financial decisions based on the assets.
Child Custody
If a couple has children, they must create custody arrangements detailing how often the children will see each parent. A divorce mediator can help the couple create a plan for the children. Still, it can also be beneficial to involve social workers or other people who work closely with the children to ensure that their best interests are centered in the plan.
Child Support
Once the parties have decided on the parenting schedule, they may need to discuss child support. This is money that one spouse pays to the other to cover the extra costs of raising the children separately. This is more common when the parties have vastly different financial positions. Most states will have calculators that look at financial information and determine if either parent is responsible for child support, and many mediators will use this formula. Some states and situations may not allow mediation to determine child support.
Spousal Support
Another financial decision that can be made through meditation is support for the other spouse. Support is money that one party pays the other due to large gaps in earning history or potential. This is most common when the couple has been married for a long time, and one party makes a career or financial sacrifice to support the other, severely limiting their future earning potential.
Asset Division
If the couple shares significant assets, such as a home, they must determine how to divide them. If one party wastes funds to lower their money, a judge will likely need to address this through the traditional divorce process.
The Benefits of Divorce Mediation
A couple may see several key benefits when using divorce mediation to separate.
Preservation of the Relationship
While the relationship between the parties has broken down in many ways, there is often still a need for the parties to be able to co-parent and work together to raise their children. Mediation can help preserve the post-divorce relationship.
Cost-Effective and Faster
Mediation is typically cheaper and allows the parties to divorce faster than traditional divorce through the court system. Mediators can often schedule mediation sessions quickly after hiring, while court proceedings can take months or years to resolve. Because each party will only need to pay their lawyer for the time spent on the mediation, they may find it much more affordable than court. However, it does not guarantee a resolution.
Control
Mediation allows the parties to regain control over the divorce’s outcome. When a couple uses traditional divorce, the judge decides the case in court. Each attorney also has some say in how the case is presented. Mediation gives the parties this power and lets them control the outcome.
Reasons to Avoid Divorce Mediation
There are a few instances where a couple may choose to avoid mediation.
Domestic Violence
Divorces that involve domestic violence may pose significant risks for mediation, both for physical safety and with the power imbalance that can be present. When there is domestic violence involved, the mediator may need to pay special attention to the parties and end the mediation session if there is the potential for harm.
Uncontested Divorce
Uncontested divorces are divorces where the parties agree on everything, and there are no issues that could lead to future conflicts. In this instance, it is not often worth the money to hire a mediator when everything is resolved.
Technical Issues
If a couple has difficult financial issues or needs input from professionals regarding custody issues, they may want to avoid mediation. Collaborative divorce is a process where each party is assigned a lawyer specifically for the negotiation process. It allows the parties to bring financial or childcare experts to determine the best action. However, if it does not work, the parties must find a new attorney to handle the case.
Conclusion
Divorce mediation is an excellent tool for couples looking to avoid court and divorce quickly and thoroughly. If you are starting the divorce process, talk to your attorney about the possibility of mediation for your case.
To learn more about the divorce mediation process, conflict resolution, and more, contact ADR Times today!
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